Avoid Deathbed Regret with ACT’s proven psychological skills.
I help men and women in their 30s & 40s build the skills that prevent you from wishing you’d done things differently when your time comes - across your Relationships, Health, Leisure and Career.
I work with you using the clinically proven techniques from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).
To help you live with fewer regrets, we’ll figure out the following together:
1. WHAT DOES AN INTENTIONAL LIFE LOOK LIKE FOR YOU?
2. WHAT TENDS TO PULL YOU OFF COURSE?
3. HOW TO USE ACT’S 3 PROVEN SKILLSETS TO ALWAYS KNOW HOW TO RESPOND, NO MATTER WHAT YOUR MIND OR ANYONE ELSE SAYS.
You develop ACT’s 3 proven skillsets through specific training:
Create Space.
Skills to soften the struggle with your thoughts & feelings.
Learn how to ‘unhook’ from unhelpful thoughts and feelings, and how you can work with them, not against, so you can create the space to choose how you want to respond, regardless of what your mind, or other people, say.
Skills building includes:
Hands as Thoughts
Naming the Story
Dropping Anchor
The Documentary Crew
Connect.
Tools to regain perspective and reconnect with what matters.
Hone skills to flexibly shift your attention and choose what you want to focus on in the present moment, so you can connect more easily to your life’s joys, bigger ambitions, and the ways you want to show up, today, and in the future.
Skills building includes:
Observing & Allowing
Flavouring & Savouring
The NNNPW Approach
Leaves on a Stream
Commit.
Define your direction and take consistent action.
Build trust in a clear long-term picture of who you want to be, and the life you want to live, and choose the small, steady steps that will guide you there so you can look back on a life you’re grateful for, not one with regrets.
Skills building includes:
Your Mistaken Funeral
The Values Bullseye
The H.A.R.M. Confidence Builder
Values-based Goal-setting
+ more…
…easily digestible psychology ideas that put you in control of doing more of what matters to you.
Regrets are insights that come too late.
In 2019, I was 33. Good job. Good salary. Decent life. And one massive thought:
When I’m on my deathbed, what do I want to say I did with my life?
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I knew the answer wasn’t “senior strategist at a global media company.”
There was one thing I knew I did want to say: “I wrote a novel.”
And I didn’t want to wait until I was 65 to find out if I meant it.
So I saved. Planned. Quit. Gave myself three months. Three months became a year and a half. Editing. Feedback. Rewrites. Then more rewrites. But I finished.
It wasn’t a bestseller. What it was, was proof.
Proof that I care about curious, difficult things. That when something matters, I can keep going. That this is the kind of life I want more of.
I didn’t know it at the time, but that choice set the foundation for everything that followed.
It put me on the path of a values-led life. Not always a comfortable one, but one with intent.
One where I choose what matters, regardless of what my mind or other people say.Who do I want to be remembered as? What do I want to be glad I gave my time to?
Because when my time comes, I want to be able to look back with a calm gratitude for my choices, not regret.
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But too often we don’t have a plan to live it out.
Having insight into deathbed questions helps me to make meaningful choices and feel gratitude today.
I found my way through reading, listening, testing, and getting things wrong. And along this path, I discovered something solid and proven that underpinned everything I’d epxerienced along the way without me knowing it:
A clinically proven approach and set of psychological tools that are rooted in philosophy, backed by psychology, and built for real life.
This approach is called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).
I trained under world-leading practitioner, Dr Russ Harris, and I now use everything I know to coach men and women in their 30s and 40s to deal with deathbed regret properly.
1,000+ studies and more than 600+ clinical trials have been proven to show that ACT leads to:
Better Emotional Regulation.
Lower levels of distress.
Stronger Relationships.
Improved overall wellbeing.
Meta-analyses consistently find that Acceptance & Commitment Therapy principles leads to improvements in anxiety, depression and quality of life. Multiple research studies show that changing how you relate to your thoughts and feelings through ACT accounts for a quarter of the difference in overall wellbeing. Over 36 studies, ACT skills explain over a third of how well people function day to day, even when life is difficult.
Knowing how to use ACT’s psychological mindsets takes you:
AWAY FROM
- Overthinking that spirals into paralysis or avoidance.
- Constantly chasing perfection to the point of burnout.
- Racing thoughts and restless nights that make it harder to focus or feel motivated.
- A sense of drifting: knowing you’re capable of more but unsure how to move towards it.
- Emotional unsteadiness: Lashing out or reacting in ways we don’t want to.
- Feeling distant, distracted, or unable to be fully present with the people who matter most.
A mind that can be too loud or distracting at times:
“I know what to do… I just don’t do it.”
“My mind talks me out of things I want to do deep down.”
“I go through the motions, but something feels off.”
“I get hijacked by my own thoughts.”
“I wish I was more consistent, productive, disciplined, kind etc.”
TOWARDS
- A steadier inner life.
- A clearer sense of who you’re choosing to be.
- A way to feel anchored without chasing perfect emotions.
- Skills that actually work in messy real life.
- Guidance that doesn’t feel patronising.
- Reliable tools to feel more connected and present in the moments you care about.
A place where your relationship with your mind feels steady:
“When my mind kicks off, I know what to do with it.”
“I stop the inner struggle & take meaningful action, even when discomfort shows up.”
“I build steady, values-led habits instead of pushing myself through pressure.”
“I don’t need perfect motivation to act like the person I want to be.”
“I communicate with more openness: with myself and the people who matter.”
JANUARY OFFER:
Book a Discovery Session this month and you’ll receive your first two Training Sessions free.
Let’s get started.
I’m Chris James, your Acceptance and Commitment Therapy trained coach. I help you build practical psychological skills to create clarity and act in line with what matters so you can Avoid Deathbed Regret.
Ease in with a complementary 20-minute Discovery Session. This is a working session, not a sales call. We go straight into what you want to change, I explain my approach, and you make the call if it feels right for you - then we book your first Training Session.
Coaching is then delivered through weekly one-to-one 50-minute Training Sessions, online.
Training Sessions are £80, and I typically recommend 4 to 6 sessions in total. If you’re not happy with your coaching, I’ll give you your money back, no questions asked.
If you want a clear, practical starting point to see if this can work for you, book your Discovery Session today.
Have a question?
FAQs
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I help people feel more fulfilled, steady and aligned with the life they keep saying they want… but haven’t quite managed to live yet.
That usually means working on three things:Understanding and regulating emotions
Learning more effective ways to handle unhelpful mental habits
Building small, meaningful actions that stick
It’s practical psychological coaching grounded in evidence, not vague positivity or ‘manifesting’.
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People who are functioning, capable and doing “fine”, but privately feel:
Stuck in unhelpful patterns
Drained by their own thoughts
Less confident than they should be
Unsure how to move towards a life that actually feels like theirs
If you’re tired of overthinking, want to feel more steady, and care about living by your own values, this is for you.
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Most people can expect noticeable shifts in:
Feeling more steady and less reactive
Being less tangled in thoughts
Handling difficult emotions more effectively
Making consistent progress on things that matter
Feeling more connected to themselves and others
The aim isn’t perfection. It’s steadiness, clarity and traction.
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No.
This isn’t therapy, clinical treatment, or crisis support.
It’s psychological coaching rooted in skills shown to improve wellbeing, emotional steadiness and day-to-day functioning.Think of it this way: therapy helps you heal. Coaching helps you build.
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Simple, repeatable psychological skills drawn from Acceptance & Commitment Therapy, and values-led action, such as:
Techniques to reduce overthinking
Tools for emotional steadiness
Exercises that strengthen presence and attention
Values-based decision frameworks
Ways to handle difficult thoughts without being dragged around by them
These are practical, not abstract. You’ll actually use them day to day.
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You should feel clearer and more grounded after the first few sessions.
Meaningful change tends to build over 6 weeks as the skills start becoming second nature.This isn’t a magic switch. It’s a steady shift that compounds.
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I don’t do “rah-rah” motivation, vision boards or forced positivity.
My work is based on research-backed psychological skills, including:Psychological flexibility
Values-led behaviours
Emotion regulation
Attention and presence skills
The coaching is direct, practical, and built around your real life. Not clichés or hype.
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Yes, but not in a school-teacher way.
You’ll get small, manageable practices that help your progress stick.
Think: 2–5 minute exercises, or simple choices you’ll be asked to apply during your week.
Nothing overwhelming, everything designed with a purpose, but practice is required to make these tools stick. -
If you’re reading this and thinking:
“I know what to do… I just don’t do it”
or
“I feel capable, but something isn’t lining up internally,”
you’re in the right place.A free intro chat should make it obvious either way.
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That’s normal. Those approaches rely heavily on insight.
What I teach is a skills-based approach: you practise small things consistently, so change becomes durable.You don’t need perfect discipline. You just need repetition.
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Absolutely.
Sessions are private, secure and held with complete confidentiality. -
Yes.
All coaching is online and works with most time zones. -
Book a free intro session by filling out the form on this page..
We’ll talk through what you’re facing, what you want, and whether I can help.
If it’s a good fit, I’ll walk you through next steps.